Being Too Judgemental is Negative and Harms Others and OurselvesMar 15, 2018
Judging others is a natural habit most of us are prone to but it can harm us in many ways. Being judgemental is appraising others in a negative way based on our own criteria of correct behaviour. It is about judging another’s behaviour without questioning the circumstances or details and jumping to conclusions. Judgmental behaviour makes us think about the worst without being rational or compassionate.
Judging Others Unfairly
Judging others colours our outlook about them negatively and misrepresents their character. Simply disagreeing with another person’s views is not considered as judging others unfairly. But looking down on another, commenting harshly about them is called passing judgement.
What Happens When We Become Judgemental
Our instinctive habit is to react when somebody behaves in a way that goes against our mental makeup, so we end up judging others severely without pausing to think about the situation. It makes us criticize others, gossip and find fault. The other person who is constantly being judged will get hurt and lose confidence.
When you become judgemental you label others without seeing the big picture. You become negative, petty, mean and small minded and say rude things to another person based on their character just to feel better or superior to them. We are unable to think beyond the conclusions we have about them and are closed minded and typically stereotype others based on our judgement.
Due to being judgemental we make the wrong choices in life, make wrong assumptions, ruin relationships, get isolated and find that people stop confiding in us. The judgmental person is shunned by others because they get angered by their comments. They find that they are unable to build strong and new relationships and others view the overly judgemental person as hard hearted.
Steps to Stop Being Judgemental
- Learn to be emotionally intelligent by becoming more empathetic with others. Imagine the situation from their viewpoint and understand why they feel what they are feeling.
- See the problem, not the person. Don’t be quick to blame before seeing the reality of the problem that caused the behaviour.
- Become acutely aware and pause to think about your own behaviour and thoughts. Being mindful makes us more cautious and less hasty in our judgement.
- If you get angry about someone’s behaviour it is OK but if you react cruelly or harshly it is not OK. Realize that nobody is perfect. Not even yourself. Walk away if you cannot handle the situation correctly and fairly. Don’t become the first person to begin the conflict.
- If somebody’s behaviour is unacceptable, speak to them calmly about it and in constructive ways. Don’t let your anger make you lose self-control and worsen the situation.
- If you are the victim of a judgemental person try to understand that they behave in that manner because something may be upsetting them or because of some problems they are facing.
- Realize they are also human just as you are and look for some good in each person you meet.
Build Positivity and Self Confidence in Yourself
Everyday spend some time with yourself to build self confidence by repeating positive affirmations about yourself. Think clearly about how you would like others to see you and work on that aspect. This is not to win approval but to build self-respect and self-esteem. Learn compassion and learn to look for goodness in others and you will get over the habit of being judgemental.