How to make new Friends when you Suddenly have No friendsJul 14, 2018
Few things are as painful in life as being left alone without friends. When you unexpectedly discover you’ve no friends, you may feel abandoned, unloved, uncared for and even betrayed. You may feel sad, empty and lonely.
Just why do we feel sad, empty and lonely when we have no friends? What can help us to make new friends?
Why we feel sad, empty and lonely without friends
We’re born with a need for friendship
We must satisfy this strong inborn need for friendship, just as we need to satisfy our inborn need for food and water. When this need for friendship is satisfied, we feel peaceful, safe and happy. Sadness, loneliness and emptiness no longer control our life.
Yes, we all need friends; and friends need us. We need friends on a sad and rainy day. We need comfort and support from friends when we’re going through storms and problems. We also need friends to with whom to rejoice when we experience blessings, joys and good times.
It’s impossible to imagine life without friends. Even one friend or two can make a huge difference in our life. That’s why we feel sad, empty and lonely when we find ourselves without friends.
We need friends for our good emotional, mental and physical health
People who are surrounded by loving friends, family and people are emotionally healthy and stable. Why? When we feel loved and cared for, we tend to have less negative emotions and thoughts. This has a positive effect on our mental health, too.
In turn, good emotional and mental health contribute to good physical health. Why? It’s because we suffer less depression, stress and anxiety which can weaken our immune system and bring about different physical sicknesses. We certainly need friends!
We all need friends to be successful and happy
Our friends can contribute to our success and happiness in life. How many times have you heard these words, “No child is island”? In one country, there’s a saying that says, “One finger cannot perform all tasks alone.”
It’s also true that one single piece of firewood won’t make a big fire. I’ve never seen one person who single-handedly wins a cricket or football game! Clearly, we need friends to be successful and happy in life. No wonder we feel empty and lonely when we have no friends.
How you can make new friends
Be a friend
It’s been said that if you want to have friends, be a friend yourself. Go out and make friends. Behave like a friend. Talk like a friend. Laugh like a friend. Smile like a friend. Show deep interest in a potential friend. Act friendly.
Start a friendly conversation with someone. Ask polite questions about him or her. Invite someone for a meal. Work on project together. Be a friend!
Develop fine qualities
Why? People are attracted to a person with beautiful qualities. So work hard to cultivate fine qualities like kindness, mercy, joy and love, etc. How?
Try to cultivate one quality at a time. If you try but fail to cultivate a particular quality, keep trying! Don’t give up! Your efforts will result in forging lasting friendships.
You’re a unique and precious
It’s easy to feel worthless when friends abandon you. Regardless of what people think of you, know that you’re a unique, precious and lovable person.
Remember: No human can measure your worth as a person. Your worth doesn’t depend upon any absolute approval and recognition of any human. Remembering this will give you confidence to go out and make friends.
Make some personality changes
Is there something that may have contributed to your losing friends? Take an honest look at yourself. Make some necessary changes. Instead of being selfish and self-centred, be generous and outgoing. Rather than being short-tempered, be tolerant and slow to anger.
Instead of being boastful, be humble and self-effacing. Replace offensive and insulting language with polite and respectful speech. Instead of engaging in gossip or slander about others, learn to say good things about them. Potential friends will love you for this!
Don’t expect perfection from friends. There’s no perfect friend. Even best friends we’ll make friends. They’ll have serious arguments, differences and misunderstandings from time to time. If you’re forgiving, people will want to befriend you. There can never be any true friendship without forgiveness.